


I know that you're scared, because hearts get broken

by justapipe-dream (alexoli96)



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Post-Canon, Short, andrew needs some love, neil and andrew gotta figure stuff out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21827131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexoli96/pseuds/justapipe-dream
Summary: They never fight, that's not what this is. To fight you have to talk, there has to be an argument, a disagreement. Maybe someone walks out on someone else and there's doors slamming shut. But they don't talk, don't slam doors or disagree on anything in particular, and it's the silence that is overwhelming.or the rlly short one in which Neil and Andrew just really gotta learn how to communicate
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 8
Kudos: 185





	I know that you're scared, because hearts get broken

**Author's Note:**

> hellooo
> 
> yes so this is short and hum angsty but fluffy but also pretty much 75% introspection enjoy
> 
> title from Golden by Harry Styles cause thats what inspired this (:

He's running, even when no one is following. Neil runs because the soreness in his legs and the quick beating of his heart are drugs he's addicted to. He arrives at the dorms when the sun has set and there's a gloomy sky over his head. Neil knows Andrew would be mad, but Andrew hasn't been paying attention. Neil's phone sits somewhere on his bedside table, forgotten, perhaps on purpose. So he arrives at the dorms, slows to a walk, knocks on the door. It opens and Andrew is indeed on the other side. But, with his mask of indifference set firmly in place, he looks Neil up and down, just the one time to make sure he is okay, and then goes away. Neil wasn't expecting anything else, not today.

They never fight, that's not what this is. To fight you have to talk, there has to be an argument, a disagreement. Maybe someone walks out on someone else and there's doors slamming shut. But they don't talk, don't slam doors or disagree on anything in particular, and it's the silence that is overwhelming. It had started the week before, and Neil does not know what he's done. They have been together - because they stopped pretending they weren't early on - for years, and Andrew is graduating soon. This silence has terrible timing, Neil wishes they were enjoying every minute instead.

About a month ago, when the foxes had each gone their way for winter break, the both of them had spent a whole week alone at the house in Columbia. For Neil, it had been a glimpse of a possible future, the domesticity of it making him think of getting their own place with their own furniture and a couple of plants and perhaps even a pet. All those things Neil had thought he wouldn't ever get to have. That week in december had been like living in a dream. He even let go of his morning run in favor of morning sex, with Andrew's skilled hands massaging a body they knew so well. But Neil's favorite part was returning the favor. He liked kissing a line down Andrew's torso until he reached his boxers, asking a question and being told 'yes' time and time again...

But looking back now, that week in december may not have been like living in a dream - it might just have been a dream. Standing in the shower, washing away the sweat from a run that has done him no good while Andrew watches TV in the room next door, Neil wonders if he's got it all wrong. He hates doubting himself, doubting what they've built since Neil's first year. But. 

It's already half past nine when Neil decides to come out of where he was hiding in his bunk bed and get dinner. He figures Andrew may have left, it's been silent the last couple of hours. After the other foxes graduated, and seeing as Aaron and him were not enemies but barely tolerated each other, Neil really had been left with no one else on the team to talk to other than Andrew. He never thought he'd need anyone else, but now he wishes Matt were here so he could have someone who would listen to him and perhaps even help with the situation. Neil walks into the kitchen barefoot and notices he isn't alone after all: Andrew is perched on the counter reading, of all things, a cooking book. Neil figures that is as good a conversation starter as any.

"Why are you reading that?"

Andrew looks up from the book and seems to be considering whether or not he should answer. His fingers are gently playing with the edge of the page he's currently reading, as if he was just about to turn to the other one. Neil isn't sure his mind was 100% on the task, however. 

"I'm bored," Andrew finally answers, breaking out of his trance and looking back down at the book. He turns the page over and seems like he's not going to speak again if the conversation is left up to him. Neil doesn't plan on letting that happen.

"There's other things you could be doing," he starts, approaching Andrew slowly as if dealing with a cat that could run off at first chance, "like me."

He is pleased to see that he does get Andrew's attention after saying that. He drops the book on the counter, freezing for a couple of seconds and then finally, finally, looks at Neil properly. "Doing. You." It's a question framed like a statement, because Andrew is intrigued and Neil knows he's got his interest, but Andrew is also stubborn and he does not give up easily. 

Neil moves closer, steps in between Andrew's legs only after giving him plenty of time to shove him away, to tell him to go. They have moved past yeses and nos for many of these actions, and while progress has not been a straight line where they only move forward, it has at least always been there. So Neil gets settled in between his legs, where he likes to be, where he has made a home for himself many times. He carefully drops his arms over Andrew's shoulders and leans in for a kiss. 

He knows when people look at Andrew, they don't often think soft. But this kiss is all soft. Soft like rubbing cheeks on clean bedsheets, like getting into warm pajamas at the end of the day when it's cold outside. But then Andrew pulls away, one hand on Neil's neck and the other low on his back. It's the start of something intimate, something stronger, something less soft, but first they need to talk.

"I am unsure," Andrew starts, and they're so close his voice does not need to be much more than a whisper, "and I don't like it."

"About what?" Neil doesn't know what else to say, what to ask or how to comfort, and it's not often that that happens when in conversation with Andrew. He hopes he continues and does not shut him out again.

"The future." It's like pulling teeth. Like the words are actually fighting to come out of his mouth, screaming at him to set them free into someone else's ears. "What we're doing. The distance. Depending on someone else this much. You name it."

Neil frowns, nods in acknowledgement while he thinks of what to answer. He's had worries. Not the same worries. But they don't need to have matching worries to understand each other. He settles on, "It's hard being vulnerable." Because it's true for them both. And because he doesn't have to know what to say straight away. They have time. Then he leans in again, but this time kisses Andrew on the cheek. They're not a novelty anymore, these gestures. Still, Andrew gently pushes his face away as if the sweetness offended him.

"Idiot."

"Yeah, your idiot." It's Neil's automatic answer. But then, because he can do comforting today if Andrew needs it, he adds, for good measure, "We'll figure it out."

**Author's Note:**

> so hum hope you liked this! it's pretty late i havent looked for typos so if there's any you can tell me
> 
> also if youre reading behind blue yes I havent given up on it, I just have not been all that motivated to write lately *sigh* (this song just happened to inspire me a lil)


End file.
